Tuesday, June 20, 2006




Today I was made aware of one of my dojo precepts in a very harsh and hard way. We are taught to "Respect all life". ALL LIFE, even those of small animals and insects. I have always tried to make Laina realize that bugs are just bugs, and not to be afraid of them or kill them, or torture them for no reason. I show her the spiders and armadillo beetles and bees. I teach her not to touch them, but to look at them.
But yesterday, I was watering the lawn and scared up a whole nest of ants. They started to go into panic mode and grab their eggs and prepare for evacuation. I felt bad for them, but I also had to water my lawn.
Today I killed a nest of hornets that had set up house in the soffits of the roof. I had tried to ignore them, but every time we turned on the hose to play in the sprinkler, they came out looking for a drink. I was afraid that one day they would sting either me or Laina. So today, I poisoned their nest. They all dropped dead and even the grubs, the babies that they worked so hard to tend to, dropped out of the nest. I really felt bad for them and I even shed a tear for the poor damned hornets.
I guess I respect the lives of these little insects in that they are just trying to make it in this world along with me. But I also look at the order of life. They don't worry about killing something that is interfering with their nests. They were interfering in MY nest!
Then, the worst thing. Laina and I were walking around the block. I heard a commotion of birds in a tree we were walking under. Just then, a small hawk, perhaps a kestrel, swooped from under the tree with a baby bird in it's talons with the mother sparrow following as close as she could, crying and squawking for her baby. I felt so bad for her, and she couldn't do anything other than follow and cry. Poor momma bird. I wonder what I would do in the event that I would have to protect my child with my life. I hope I never have to, but I know I would do whatever I had to. I hope that I never feel like that poor mother bird. I think of her tonight.

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